Moved

I still want to blog about fatherhood. And I found somebody that wants to join me in my efforts. We began a different blog, for the same purpose: Paternitas. That's Greek for fatherhood. It's a bilingual blog, in Spanish and English (not Greek). Come check it out.

Happiness

Jacob Kempton Kammerman was born at 6:05 in West Valley, Utah. He weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz. and was 18 inches long.


Emily Anne Kammerman was born at 6:07 in West Valley, Utah. She weighed 5 lbs. 15 oz and was 18 inches long.



Patricia is recovering well; she is anxious to get to solid foods!

The staff at Pioneer Valley Hospital are awesome. They are cheerful, accommodating, and very thoughtful. I got to spend the first 45 minutes of the kids' lives with them in the nursery (there were no other infants there at the time). Patricia was finally able to see them a couple of hours later, after they sewed her up and moved her into a maternity room. The evening went well. The kids are learning to nurse; though they want to sleep more than anything else. Emily has had her eyes open more than Jacob; but he has been a more energetic eater. They look quite a bit different, I think. Jacob has a bigger nose; at least that's the most recognizable difference that I picked up on.

We'll take the other kids to see them later on today.

I big thank you to Dr. H. for taking care of Patricia. The anesthesiologist was excellent, too. His demeanor is perfect; Patricia felt very safe and taken care of. Thanks also to all those that are thinking of us.

As I am typing this, Scotland the Brave came up on my playlist. This made me think of all my ancestors; without whose sacrifice Jacob and Emily would not be here. I am so grateful to my grandparents, their parents, and so on. I am truly blessed with a wonderful heritage.

Most importantly, I give thanks to Heavenly Father. I feel a great sense of humility as I ponder the fact that I am a father of wonderful children who part of this great generation. I must do better to serve them.

Gloriously Bright

"Mother, Father did I do all right?"

Last words of Han Qing Jao (Gloriously Bright)
from Orson Scott Card's Xenocide, page 592

During my lunch break today, I sat in my car and finished listening to Xenocide. Tears came to my eyes as I witnessed the passing of Han Qin Jao. Here was a lady who had lived 100 years, never quite certain if she had pleased her parents. This really got me thinking about my children, and about parenthood. Do my children know that they have "done all right" in my eyes? More importantly, how can I help them develop a secure sense of self; one in which they don't require the approval of their parents in order to have peace?

I don't know the answers to these questions, but I think they are important quesions. I see a possible answer in a concept I recently stumbled upon in a post on LDS Philosopher. Jeff Thayne's article asserts that there exists more than the two options of self-confidence or low self-esteem. Rather, a third option is being others-centered. A focus on self (in either extreme) is ultimately selfish. The scriptures teach us to be focused on others.

Now, I am thinking of my parents. Mom lives a life of serving others. I never recieved any pep talks from her about self-esteem or self-confidence. I am guessing that none of my siblings did either. Instead, we witness(ed) her countless acts of focusing on others. My Dad is similar. There were plenty of times for him to give me pep-talks about feeling good about myself: especially since I participated in sports for a large part of my growing-up years. Don't get me wrong: I listened to my fair share of sermons; but none focused on self-esteem, self-confidence, or their approval (or lack thereof).

Did I know that they approved of my actions? Did I care? I guess I know they loved me; and approval was not really part of the equation. I didn't want to disappoint them; and in this sense I sought their approval.

I've yet to approach the other-centeredness found in my parents. If home-teaching were a measurement of this trait, I am failing miserably. I feel encouraged to work on this, though. As I live in a such a way that says: "life is about helping others", this may foster an environment conducive to a healthy, other-centered, sense of self in my children.

*Picture of Statue of Chinese poet Li Qin Jao

Mormon Dads Tip #7

spellingcity.com

This is a great site where your children can input their weekly vocabulary or spelling words; then the site will create games, lessons, and quizzes with the customized list. Check it out!

Attention!

"Contention often reflects the absence of attention."

-Truman Madsen, in his essay The Language of Love at Home found in "Four Essays on Love"

I ran across this statement the other night and it rang true. All too often, I expect my children to get along perfectly, on their own, for long periods of time. It is only natural that they will argue and bicker. Adults can't even get along for long periods of time without arguing. I can be a better Dad by giving my children more attention.

Gratitude

If you are reading this, buy your wife flowers today. If you are not married, buy your Mom flowers. If your Mom lives out of town/state, this is not an excuse not to do it; in fact it will be that much more special when Mom receives them from a delivery.

Mormon Dads Tip #6

Give tired children a break.

Fatigue is one of the biggest factors in a child's behavior. I simply cannot expect my children to behave rationally when they are tired. I was reminded of this a while back when we went as a family to a waterslide/skating fun center. As it became time to go, my six year-old became rather upset that he couldn't stay and do more. Though I did not scream and yell at him, I was not the model of patience either. I took him in my arms and carried him out as he cried.
On the way home, I thought of how tired he must be. He had had a very long day, including a couple of hours in the van going to and from Orem to visit family. His day was capped off by 3 hours at a fun center. This is not something we do every day and he was excited, energetic, anxious, tired, and determined all at the same time. How could I expect him to play the part of "the model child." This is simply not a physically realistic expectation.

I reflect upon my behavior when I am tired. In fact, about an hour ago, my kids decided to play a prank on me. They snuck upstairs with an inflated whoopie cushion to where I was sleeping (incidentally, they won the whoopie cushion at the fun center) and quickly deflated it, making a loud noise that woke me from a light slumber. I was going to show them! I stomped downstairs and told them that each of them had to go to bed for the rest of the night. They argued that they were just having fun, but I told them that they were too loud. Then, I rescinded on my order to go to bed and just told them to "be quiet and stay downstairs". Boy, I sure acted wonderfully. I'll take Hyrum's tired behaviors any day over my tired grouchiness.